Sylvia with a Capital N

On our trip to Nebraska last month, we stopped in Asheville, NC so I could grab some dinner at one of my favorite spots, Rosetta’s Kitchen. Mom and John weren’t interested in a non-carnivoristic feast, so I went in alone to get a to-go order.

If you’ve never been to Rosetta’s, they have a program where they give forward to those of little or no means by providing them with low cost food. So, I’m sitting at a stool near the counter, patiently waiting for my order to be prepared, when in walked an older, skinny, disheveled black woman, who I learned quickly enough, was taking advantage of the food program. Being that I am a magnet for the quirky and unusual, she latched on to me like a tick on a dog. In general, I rather enjoy these encounters because what is life without some random weirdness?

She tells me how pretty I am so I immediately wait for her to ask me for money. My bad. Being my new BFF, she proceeds to discuss her children, one who is married to a German, so she calls the grandchildren German Chocolate cupcakes, which I thought was fairly clever. Then she mentioned the Japanese son-in law, whom she calls those kids N-word something (couldn’t understand what she said).

She then told me about camping and that the bears wouldn’t bother her because of her ‘stanky N-word pussy’, cackling like a demented clown at her perceived joke, and mentioned that she needed a bullseye on her pussy so her husband could find it. I was both appalled and fascinated by this peculiar foul mouthed woman, and just wishing someone, anyone, was hearing any of this. Alas, I was an audience of one.

Why doesn't anyone else hear this shit?

I can’t recall the rest, other than to say she used the N-word more than anyone at that white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, VA a while back, and that’s really saying something.

Proper salute to a neo-nazi!! Photo credit Evan Nesterak

I just wanted to thank life for continuing to throw me curve balls, so I can ponder what they might mean. Does every encounter have a purpose? Why do these weird things always happen to me? Not sure what I learned here, but at least I had a story to tell when I got back in the car.

Oh yeah, and fuck all of you white supremacist/alt-right/white nationalist assholes. You are a plague on this country.