Pardon Me While I Burst Into Flames

Fresh off the heels of our gym fight and expulsion from said gym, I bring to you another story that makes me consider writing a novel or selling the rights to John’s and my life to a television producer. Y’all ain’t gonna believe this…

I received a phone call from John at 5 am yesterday. He had spent some time at his home in South Carolina, repairing the kitchen floor that had some damage and doing some general maintenance. I thought maybe he had been in an accident…I mean, who calls at 5 am unless something bad has happened? Well, bad is an understatement. ‘Sheila, the house is on fire.’ ‘What?!’ ‘I couldn’t sleep, so I left at 3 am. I just got a call from a neighbor and the house is on fire.’ Holy shit. After I hung up, I had a brief moment where I thought I had dreamed the whole conversation, it was so surreal. Then I received this-

I'm so thankful that John and Dobby were not there. John said Dobby was acting strange, pacing around the house- which she never does at night, so he decided to leave early since neither of them could sleep. She must have sensed or smelled something and probably saved them both. The garage, which is completely gone, had our boat and John’s motorcycle inside. Although part of the house is still standing, it sustained smoke and water damage to the point that it will likely have to be leveled.

Anyone looking for a real fixer upper?

Gives new meaning to open floor plan.

Rubble comes with this model free of charge!

I guess we should have expected this since we already lost a motorhome to fire. I’m an Aries, which is a fire sign. John is a Taurus, which is an earth sign. Apparently, everything we touch bursts into flames and burns to the earth. Great superpowers if we could control them.

Stay tuned for our demolition and renovation show on HGTV.