Remember New Year’s Eve when we all cheered good riddance to the trainwreck that was 2020? You know, the year that lasted for five? Say hello to 2021! Still in its infancy, 2021 is already in the running to produce history's ultimate Darwin Award recipient and has defined itself so far as the inbred, shirtless, beer-bellied cousin of 2020. It’s as if this year pronounced, ‘hold my beer while I show you how it’s done!’ Did Nostradamus or even the Farmer’s Almanac prognosticate any of this? Actually, Nostradamus said something about a zombie apocalypse (seriously), but that would be a few notches down the WTF list.
Depending on where you fall on the constitutional republic ‘take it or leave it’ scale, on Jan 6 our country experienced either a deadly attempted insurrection or a rowdy party of patriots exercising their god-given, weapon-toting, maskless FREEDOM! What transpired was an affront to our democracy and a sad day for anyone who believes that if you’re going to try to overthrow the government, you should at least do it in style. A shirtless, tattooed man with Viking horns atop a painted face is so last season, and I’m talking NFL season. If the Vikings had made it to the playoffs, maybe we’d have seen that dude on tv for an entirely different reason. Might I suggest for him instead a jaunty top hat (made in ‘Merica!) and a sporty blazer with a French tucked t-shirt imprinted with a witty statement and his lawyer’s phone number sewn into the back?
Tactical gear in drab khaki? Zip tie handcuffs? Darlings, everyone who’s anyone knows Illuminating yellow and Ultimate gray are the colors for 2021. Perfect for every special occasion, especially when pummeling police officers with a flag pole, an American flag perched on top. Also, might I recommend a trendy cuff that won’t chafe the wrists, or perhaps a simple statement necklace. It says, ‘I want to kidnap and perhaps kill someone, but maybe not while everyone can see it happen.’ Choices, people. You had choices and you all chose incorrectly, in oh so many ways.
In other news, the ex-president was again impeached since the first one went so well. Somebody had to take the blame for the melee at the US Capitol and Republicans made damn sure it wasn’t Trump. Those suckers who stormed the Capitol on his behalf will probably spend the next good chunk of their days behind bars, but not the ‘chosen one.’ He will be hanging out in the retirement and slow driver capital of the world where he will not be posting on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Parler, Twitch, Snapchat, TikTok, Discord…he even got suspended from Pinterest. Did Trump have a Pinterest board? This social media shunning harbors some serious level ‘fuck off’ sentiment. Love him or hate him, you have to admit it’s nice not to have to hear his incendiary hate vomit every day. By the way, if this dude was sent to us by God, it was definitely as a punishment.
Texas. Oh my, dear Texas. Deregulation sounded so freeing, didn’t it? Anything the US government can do, Texas can do so much not better. How on earth did a snowstorm wreak this kind of havoc? It was windmills and turbines! It’s those libtards and their Green New Deal! Yeah, no. You experienced snowpocalypse because your state government, in its infinite wisdom, didn’t winterize the system. Why? Freedom! They had a choice whether or not to protect their citizens and they didn’t. My heart goes out to everyone suffering through this calamity. The entire country is willing to help you out right now so please let us know how to do so.
And then there’s Ted Cruz, the twin brother of Grandpa from The Munsters. You wanted a man with a can-do attitude, but all you got was a sorry excuse for a man with a ‘piss off, my dear constituents, I’m going to Cancun!’ attitude. While he was flying back and forth, Beto O’Rourke, the man who lost to Cruz in 2018, managed to call almost one million seniors to get them food and water, find warming centers for them, and make sure they were okay, while Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez raised over 4 million dollars with a fundraiser for Texas Relief, and she’s from New York. Wait, weren’t those jobs Cruz should have been doing? How dare those commie Democrats steal his sun-soaked thunder! Cruz was merely using his God-given freedom; freedom to run away when calamity strikes! Cruz had a choice and boy, did he screw the pooch.
Let's move away from politics for a hot minute. I know this will be a shock to you, but Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are getting divorced. Who saw that coming? I guess we’ll be seeing Kanye pop up on stage at the next awards show since there’s no one to squelch his overpowering id. It’s too bad the Golden Globes will be virtual because I’d like to see him try it with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on stage. That would be classic. My money would be on the ladies.
On a somber note, people are attacking and, in some cases, killing Asian Americans. Why? Because they're of Asian descent. Hey, racists-the day is fast approaching when you will be the minority. You're welcome for the nightmare you will have tonight.
Almost 500,000 have died from Covid-19 in the US as of today. It boggles the mind that this even needs to be said, but WEAR A MASK! A mask won’t make you a mindless sheep and you just might save someone’s life. Besides, you can get one that says FREEDOM on it and, voila! problem solved. Everything in this country is not about politics and a global pandemic does not revolve around our huge American egos. We have a choice and so far, we have done a ghastly job of it. Try to remember that your freedom may infringe on another person's freedom, and sometimes, to devastating effect.
Can you believe it’s only February 21? Yeah, take that in. Please make good choices because we need to offset the monumentally bad choices we've made thus far. Look at it this way-2022 is only 314 days away.
Enjoy the brilliant Jack White and The Raconteurs, because you always have the freedom to listen to great music-
great post, great pics, great music. glad you've got your dad's sense of humor and justice.